I have spent the last little while doing something that is very dangerous and should never be done, and that is comparing. Sometimes my life feels like it is falling to shambles and I literally do not know how to fix it, or sometimes even lack the will power. Then I look around me and see all these people.... and it seems like they have everything all figured out. Now I know that this can't be true for who honestly has everything figured out, I would dare say almost no one. This leads me to a very important discovery, something I may have even known all along, "On the surface the duck seems so calm and serene, gliding so peacefully, but underneath it is paddling like hell." This answers my question, that only through what happens beneath the surface do we ever get anywhere at all. This analogy has another connection to my life right now. When I think of the delicacy of a duck, I literally can see in my minds eye the wetlands of yes....Young Ward, Utah. There lies a pond and on a calm day there can sometimes be found a duck or two on the exterior. As it struggles beneath the surface it's body is thrust forward. The imagery of a duck swimming also leaves another imprint, I can foresee the ripples left behind from all the paddling underneath. For a moment the glassy surface is disturbed.... but there are two gifts bestowed. One is the duck's exertion propels him forward so he is not stagnant. Two the stream or corridor that is left behind that can be followed. I often think "if I can do this right maybe... just maybe I'll be an example to someone around me that may be watching." The reason I know this is because I have been "watching" and forming ideas, opinions and beliefs my whole life. Family is so important. I have observed my brothers and sisters all my life, and I have seen them struggle but most importantly I have seen them be victorious in everything they do. I guess what I'm getting to is that I only can hope that I can follow the ripples they have left behind but also create new ones that can be followed by someone else in need. So thanks for allowing me to see the struggles and grief beneath the surface so I could appreciate where you are today and where I will be someday.
10 comments:
Thanks for a tear or two of gratitude for myself, as i head off to bed. i love you. KiBIV ROY GIMBER
So that was an inspiring post. I have always thought you have had such a wonderful talent for writing, you write so eloquent. I can't believe you are all grown up I still want to think of you as my favorite 6th grader who proudly took me to show in tell. You always have a way to bring a tear to my eye, always behind closed doors though. Keep on trudging through the murky waters.
Wonderful post and I am so glad to have you join the blogging world. I look forward to every new post.
Angie you are an inspiration! Thanks for being the person you are I love you so much. And miss you so put pics of yourself on there as well as a duck!
Dear Angie: It was a pleasure to read your observations on life. You not only have grown in understanding but also in perception and application. Understanding makes the enduring, perception and application extremely meaningful, powerful and far more able to endure. Life doesn't just happen to you, it happens with purpose - which makes the process EXCITING rather than just bearable. Writing it down brings it all into focus and solidifies your observations into actual learning and meaningful progress. I believe someone important once said that to live life with focus on change and growth is more than eating and sleeping. You have been blessed in your 19 short years with a lifetime of experience as you have observed and been emotionally involved in the eventful lives of all your remarkable brothers and sisters. You have learned from their mistakes and benefited from the example of their wisdom and good choices - what a blessing to have chosen to be at the end. How much they all have loved you to have the courage to go before you and forge the path and make the ripples broad and defined for you to follow. In return your example will indeed send ripples into the lives of others to give them the courage to set and keep high standards and goals, make difficult sacrifices, endure when it seems hopeless, and put our faith, hope and trust in Jesus Christ and his redeeming grace. Keep on paddling!!!
What a good thought. I love you Ang and I am so proud of you, you really are an example to me. Hang in there and keep kicking like hell!
why have I not known until now that you have a blog? Hello!!! am I always the last to know everything? This post is beautiful - I'm so happy to have you as a sister.
Angie...I actually do have everything all figured out...just so ya know! :)
Wow Ang, You are very wise beyond your years. I really enjoyed reading that and I gave me a lot of food for thought. You are such a beautiful girl inside and out!
Love,
Holly (your cousin)
Hi, my name is Laura Hefele. I live in New York. Not the city but pretty close, and very far from Logan Utah. I am 47 years old and am in college studying to be a special ed. teacher for grades 1-6. I found your blog because I googled roygbiv. I was looking for idead for lesson plans!! I was also looking for 5th grade lesson plans, because thats the grade I would love to teach. If you are still reading this and don't think I am completely crazy I will continue. I recently was very very troubled by my father's alzheimers disease. I was attending a class and must have been more distracted than I thought. anyway because God is so great the teacher stopped me from leaving and said she wanted to speak to me. so I stayed and she said "Tell me what is wrong" I cried to and in front of this-then-stranger for 30 minutes. The reason why I am telling you this is because you sound like you are struggling and I am a stranger. I want to reach out to you like my now-friend did for me. I read some of your page and you are amazing. Your love of teaching and children screams off the page. In new york we don't really do missions, we should so that part of your dilemna is a bit foreign to me. I just wanted you to know that as someone who shares a love of children nothing is more important. At 20 years old I had no clue and was a waste of space. You my dear are a gem and those children were very lucky to have you for those weeks. God Bless you and follow your heart. Trust yourself.
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