Throughout my life I can't even begin to count all the times I have said, "someday." I am full of them. It is hard to not anticipate the future full of imagination and lots of "somedays". I have so many ambitions and goals and to be honest the easy way out is to say "someday" that way I'm not failing I'm just not trying; which in reality is even worse than failing. It's so scary to put a huge goal on the cutting board and watch it possibly be massacred.
I have had many dreams and goals that I have placed on the table and lo and behold good things happen. I had dreams to move to South America and work in an Orphanage. As I got on the plane I set my goal that I would not come home the same girl, that I would sacrifice all that was needed to take Heavenly Fathers children in my arms and try to give those sweet babies glimpses of His love through mine. I pray that that dream was delivered. I have had little goals delivered as well. For the most part these goals are as small as, in my my morning prayer, praying that I may be a little better and try harder to be something I know is inside, then throughout the day seeing the blessing be delivered that before was just a "someday."
I have also experienced the massacre of a dream as well (more than I would admit to). These are always painful memories that in someways if I dwell too long on they can hinder my courage to pursue in the next round. I can remember running for Exec as a Junior in High School and that being THE most important thing to me at the time and my dream shot down by eight votes. There also comes the so-called little dreams that I "fail" or fall short at. It is a daily goal of mine to be positive and optimistic in EVERYTHING and then I find myself in enemy territory surrendering my white flag of defeat to the casualties of life and pessimism. When things like this happen its hard not to be discouraged, but as I have watched others I have noticed a trend, the strong and determined people I try to model myself after persevere, they stumble then brush themselves off and keep going.
But today I choose to turn one of my somedays into "today." The whole reason I chose to become a teacher is because I have faith in humanity. I believe that there is something innately incredible in every young child. My dream is that I can help preserve and influence them to help them recognize the qualities they each possess. Part of my dream is that I have always wanted to write a children's story. Not any old children's story, but a story that hits the heart strings to play a beautiful chord that becomes a melody. There is so much power in the written word and I feel like I want to be part of something bigger than myself, something that even if I fail I will have taken a critical look at myself through humanity. I have said someday for one too many days. Today it began, I started writing it and as this may be a small step, for me it is a whole lot more, it is empowering to set sail on a project that pushes you to think beyond the monotony. Someday becomes TODAY!!
