With each new birthday or age I always expect great new things, and these expectations often lead to problems for example....birthday 16! Even as wonderful as it was there is NO WAY that it could have ever lived up to what it was in my dreams. Then there was something magical that was supposed to happen at age 18....yeah I think I missed something there too. Its not that I am pessimistic if anything I am maybe always a little too optimistic and that is where my problem lies.
But right now I am dreading age 21, and the next six months leading up to it. Everything in my world is shifting, and it is all without my permission. The comfortable little life style that I so conveniently have created is falling to shambles. The more I try to stabilize everything the more my problems compound. I feel like I am at cold stone trying to decide what to get and I'm being asked......cone or cup?....what flavor of ice cream?....... oh and what toppings, you can have a million?.... I just want to scream and say "what if I don't even want Ice cream!!!" What I am trying to articulate is that there are so many choices in front of me and yeah, I could lie and try to convince myself and everyone else (read with much sarcasm) that I am so excited for the future I just am so grateful that right now I have no direction and endless possibilities, its just a great feeling. But the truth is these "endless possibilities" have created so much stress. I don't know what I am doing. I graduate from school in less than a year and then what....I be a teacher... we all know teachers are supposed to wear ugly sweaters and be mean and calloused old women (no offense) I don't think I am ready for that yet, and this brings me back to age 21.... one too many people have been asking me if I am going on a mission....let it be known that I DON'T KNOW so LAY OFF!! I have had thoughts swirling in my head for the past few months and unless God is going to sometime soon tell me his thoughts I really don't know. So this brings me to my motto that I have recently adopted:
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase,
it means no worries for the rest of your days
is my problem free philosophy!
HAKUNA MATATA!!
5 comments:
amen sista!
I agree, don't worry about a mission. If you feel like you want to go in a few months then go, if not stay home and just party, don't go to school, don't work, I know go live in Hawaii and enjoy the Beach. Life is to short to worry!!
Things have a way of working out just when you need it. Dont worry:) I will pray for you! Hahha jk jk... but really i will.
Just keep on doing what the Lord tells you and you will be guided to where your supposed to go:)
love ya!
I love you. Good for you and I agree with MaRea, stop freaking out. Have some fun and enjoy that you get to go to a movie at a seconds notice. And Hawaii isn't a bad idea.
The crazy thing is that you are just at the start of your life. This is when it gets really great. Explore options you never thought possible--live abroad, go to grad school, work in inner city schools, change careers all together, date a ton, serve the Lord in innovative ways, move to a new city. Don't limit yourself.
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